November 2011 Bee Newspapers column

There are a few things that I swore I would never do. But now I have to admit, I’ve done them.  I swore that I would never go from a film camera to a digital one. I switched to digital about ten years ago and it was not because they no longer make Kodachrome. It was simply because film in general was getting more and more difficult to purchase locally. I’m actually glad that I no longer use film because when I did get a roll developed I always ordered double prints. Why? Probably I was thinking someone would like a copy of our kids for their photo album. We now have a few shoe boxes of prints tucked away in closets here and there. And to boot, we inherited a few photo albums of photos of our kids from relatives who passed on. Those albums are in the closet too.

Another thing I said I would never do is answer the cell phone if the incoming call was from our house and I was in the proximity of our home. But I must admit that not too long ago I was pulling into the drive and a call was coming through from our house. I stopped the car and answered the phone and it was my wife. She asked…where are you? And I said, in the yard. And then she asked, are you coming in? And I said, yes I was planning on it. And then she said, how come you answered the phone in the yard. And I replied, I don’t know, maybe I thought it was something important. And she said, well, since you’re in your car can you go to the convenient store and pick up a bag of brown sugar…that’s what I was calling about anyway. 

Finally I have always said that I would never get so mad at a recorded message that I would talk back to it. We have caller ID on our phone so if I don’t recognize the number I can always let the call go to voicemail. Just yesterday, what looked to be a local call was really a recorded message touting a bunch of lies against a certain candidate. Normally I just hang up immediately on a recorded message but I was curious to see how long this message would rattle on and if there was any semblance of truth coming out of it. Finally I had heard enough and blurted out a few nasty things into the phone. My wife from the other room asked me who I was being so nasty to over the phone. And I said to her, don’t worry, it was just a recorded message. And then she said, well, you better hope they didn’t record what you had to say.

This all makes me want to swear that I’ll never swear that there are certain things I’ll never do. At least I’d never have to admit that I broke a promise. But how human would that be?